Been Caught Growing

I remember the first time I looked up at the sky and was amazed by it.
Actually, let me correct myself: I remember the first time I looked up at the sky as an adult and was amazed by it.

When I did, I realized that I was on the verge of making some major life changes. Why is that? Because I had become better aware of wonder, and I wanted to have more of it in my own life. I had caught myself growing.

I’ve caught myself growing a lot over the course of the last few years now, and have gotten better at acting upon what I need to do to align myself better every time I do.

I didn’t write from Friday until today because I caught myself growing. I spent a ton of time with family and friends instead. I had drinks with people I hadn’t seen in ages, I went grocery shopping with my family, I watched the Bengals lose at a good friend’s house. And it felt really, really good to do all of that and none of the other stuff.

I didn’t concern myself with page views — to be fair, I don’t do much of that anyway, but I didn’t even think about them this weekend in the least. I barely touched my journal. I paid attention to the things I hadn’t in a long time and found that while I hadn’t be missing a lot, part of that lot was stuff I shouldn’t have been missing.

I’ve got no child care this week – she’s on a much-deserved vacation — so work this week was either going to be hard…or just less. I have decided on less.

So, this morning I roughhoused with my son a bit before the migraine I’d been fighting off came on. It wasn’t one of my old types of migraines – deblitating to the point where I couldn’t function. It was more of a dull thumping that went on until about dinnertime. It was an inconvenience – and possibly punishment for what my brain has perceived as neglect in the week to come because it’s not used to doing less – but it didn’t stop me from hanging with my kids, making dinner or writing and editing for my work elsewhere. It was just there. I paid attention to that, but not to it.

And I made it through.

When you start to notice things differently than you have in the past, you’re growing. When you catch yourself in those moments, make sure you pay attention to that. It could be the start of something big, new or different.

So don’t stop it.

Photo credit: courosa (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0)